Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Juror #9

I have jury duty this week. I was actually picked for a jury, too. I thought that never really happened. Except my dad was a juror last week. And now I'm a juror this week. And it gets weirder. We are/were both Juror #9. So weird. His case ended Tuesday. And mine began showing evidence today.

It will be a quick trial. We got out way early today so I had time to go for a run in the rain and take a shower. And now I'm off to meet Ms Stacey Boone for an early dinner. (So I was trying to decide if I should put Mrs. But I never call her Mrs. I don't even know why I put the Ms.)

The run was amazing. My thighs were really red from the cold rain hitting them though. It made me really miss soccer. I have been missing that a lot lately. I just want someone who will play with me. Who actually likes it too. And I tried to find a soccer ball the other day. At my house. And I couldn't find one that was of high quality. If you know me and my family, shouldn't this be strange? It is.

Oh! So the judge of the case recognized me as my father's daughter. When they were questioning me he asked if my father was involved with soccer. I said yes. And he said he saw the family resemblance and that he was a good man. And I agreed, of course. My dad's pretty cool. Anyway, I told my dad this and he led me to believe that I would probably get dismissed. However, it didn't. I guess it doesn't matter that the judge knew my dad. Cause really, I don't know him. But he is a nice guy.

I am actually really enjoying this experience. It's making everything I learned in government with Ms. Blythe so real.

Thursday, December 11, 2008


So I am home for 4 1/2 weeks. I am so excited because I have been waiting for a break since mid-October. That's about when my life started to get extremely crazy.

However, coming home means moving back in. And for me that means laundry. I like starting new and so I decided to bring all my clothes home and wash everything and leave the things that I never wear here at home when I go back to school in January. So I also had the bright idea to wash all my clothes to get that clean-ness feeling in my room.

Now, I'm kind of weird and like to do laundry (and wash dishes, but that's beside the point). In fact, I get paid to do laundry at school. I'm pretty sure I posted about this before. At school we have intense machines that wash and dry the clothes. I'm pretty sure I could fit into the dryer even; that's how intense it is. (Sidenote, when I work late there, sometimes I have the irrational fear that someone is going to sneak up behind me, push me into the dryer and turn it on. Irrational. Yes. I know.) So I guess you can say I'm used to nice machines to work with.

We don't have nice machines. And by nice, I actually don't mean high quality. Because we recently upgraded our machines to new ones that a family friend was getting rid of (because they were moving to Africa not because they didn't work anymore). By not being nice, I mean that they don't always cooperate. By saying that, I guess you can say that I am personifying the machines.

Anyway, in order for the washing machine to start washing the clothes, the door has to be locked. In order for the door to lock, it has to be shut correctly. And for some reason, the door never closes correctly on the first shut. Go figure.

So it takes about two to three times to actually start the machine. And it doesn't say if its correctly locked until after a minute you close it. So you could be waiting for about five minutes before the machine starts to work. And I know, relatively speaking that five minutes is not a long time, but it is when you have other things to get done, like decorating for Christmas or baking cookies.

Luckily today, it has been closing somewhat nicely. I've only wanted to kick it two to three times because of this reason. Yes, this reason. There's more.

As I am writing this, there is still a load in the machine and it has been there since about noon (it's about five now). Why, you ask? Well because now the machine has decided for some reason to not unlock. My clothes are stuck in there. And probably by the time I get them out I will need to send them through the wash again. And I still have more loads that I want to do. It really just needs to start working now before I really do kick it (and because its metal and I'm not, it will probably hurt me more than it succeeds in making it work.)

So you might be wondering why we got rid of the old machines. One of the reasons is because the washing machine was possessed. Here's a video even:

(Excuse the mess. It actually doesn't look like that anymore. Well, for the most part.)

Washing machines are not supposed to make that sound. Unless they always have made that sound. And this washing machine had never before made that sound. I could hear it from my living room. I was home alone the first time I heard it and freaked out.

I'm pretty sure I would rather have these ancient, demon possessed machines then the ones that keep my clothes hostage.

Well, now I'm off to go and try to open the washer. Maybe the 29th time is the charm.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Adventures of Living with Kai

One of my dear roommates is Kai Matsumoto. She was my roommate last year and she is pretty awesome. And pretty entertaining. Tonight she had me laughing so hard that I almost fell on the ground. Here's the story.

Kai is kind of on the short side and to utilize space in this modular they made the shelves pretty high up. Well, sometimes Kai underestimates her shortness. Tonight she tried to reach for this high shelf. She went really fast but completely missed the shelf. Here are some lovely photgraphs.

What's kind of weird is that she let me take these pictures of her being pretty inadequate at life. Not one. But two.
Oh and I'm not done.
A little bit later she was going to call this one person that we were just talking about for some reason. So she goes to her room and we hear from the kitchen "Hi, is Leslie there. Oh." And then she calls out "I just called the wrong number."
What's funny is that she's really smart. And has a lot of common sense and makes a lot of intelligent jokes. But sometimes she is very ridiculous. And a bit spacey. And kind of oblivious.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

I just want to post a blog, ok?

So I have kept writing stuff and then erasing it and then writing new stuff and then erasing it. And I can't figure out why I am still trying to write a blog. Obviously I do not feel like I have something too profound to say. And yet I can't bring myself to close this tab and move on with my life; to facebook or looking at plane tickets.

I think I just have an intense desire to post a blog and tell you all about my life even though there is nothing new or excited going on. Its just dead week (I keep hearing that term so I thought I would adopt it and use it as my own) and finals are next week.

There is a lot going on though. Like people leaving and not coming back next semester. This seems to be a common theme, both with friends from R-side and friends from APU. What is it with people leaving? I know that they are going to come back. Well, in the case of APU people, it is quite doubtful I will see peope who are transferring to Oregon state again. But there is always Facebook to keep us connected, albeit electronically.

What else is going on? Ah, yes. My sister is about to give birth. I wasn't able to have a countdown with Elly. Wyatt just decided to come when I was out of the state, so I really couldn't get the right amount of excited about his entrance into the world. But with Ally, its like, can you just hurry up and come already. Because really, the sooner she comes, the sooner both of them can start getting bigger and when they are bigger, the sooner I can start spoiling them.

I am at work right now and it is glorious. I am sure there are lots of homework things I should be working on, but really, I am not feeling it right now. This is what Friday and Saturday are going to be for. Because Sunday is going to be one of the busiest days of my life. Why do I say yes to some things?

First, I have a 5k run in Redlands/Loma Linda area at 7 in the morning. And then I have youth group at 10:45. I might refrain from going but this Sunday is the play and I kind of want to see it. We shall see though. And then my sister is having a shower. And I'm kind supposed to be throwing it and helping with it. This is probably why I won't go to church just so I can help my mom set this thing up. And then afterwards, it is my last OG and we are going to be having some sort of celebration and I really want to be there for that.

But luckily, I don't have classes on Monday. So I am staying in R-side that night and then coming to school in the morning. However, when I am going to school, I will be going to my death. Why, do you ask?

Well, you see, I have an interview that day to get into the Athletic Training Program. My stomach is turning just thinking about it. I know that its not going to affect me getting into the program, but I have this feeling that I could very easily make a fool of myself or just be awkward and weird and not make a good first impression. It shall be interesting.

I can't wait to blog about it. Because that means that it will just be over with.

Okay, well this was a really long random blog.
I'm out.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Running again

Last night or the night before, I forget, I went running at the track again. Its been awhile since I did that. Lately I have been going to the weight room and using the treadmill or just running in the neighborhood. But that night I just felt like going to the track again.

Its funny running at the track. Its funny to see the same people that I saw there when I ran earlier this year. Its funny to have a competition with another runner, but you have no idea how long they have been running or how in shape they are. Its funny when you have a random playlist on and this comes on:

Let down your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
that this world is a beautiful
accident, turibulent, succulent
opulent permanent,
no way I wanna taste it
Don't wanna waste it away

Oh Avril, how I have never listened to your lyrics before.

Lately, the world has been seeming extremely beautiful and I don't know why. It just is. Maybe its the weather. Maybe its the realization that you can't take life too seriously. Maybe its meeting new people and learning new things about yourself. Maybe its new life that has been added to your family.

I don't know.

I realized that I have one week left in this semester. This time next week, I will be sleeping in my bed again until January 9th. I am so excited. Hopefully everything that needs to get done will get done.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Can people change?

I remember watching an episode of One Tree Hill and one character was telling another character that people don't change. That the mistakes that they make follow them around for a while. And that its hard to get rid of them. Or something along those lines.

I personally think people can change. I think that people can change their habits and become entirely different people. This might be a little random, but it bothers me when people accept their bad habits and accept the niche that society has placed them in.

I really want to call out these type of people but I think thats kind of judging of me. However, I believe that if these people changed, their lives would be so much more fulfilled. I can see this pain and emptyness in this one person in my life and I want to help her so bad. But instead I am just annoyed by her and don't talk to her anymore. In fact, I feel like there is unspoken tension between us. And sadly I am okay with this because it means that I don't have to talk to her. Or show interest in anything that she does. Even if I have a close proximity to her; day in and day out.

I want to care but I don't think she really wants to let me in either.

But really, do I have habits that I need to change? Probably yes.

That one saying about when you point your finger, there are three pointing back at you, comes to my mind. So I pause in my judgment of this person and reflect on my own life; and maybe I should work on some of my bad habits before I unleash my superiority complex issues on her.

Well that's it.

In conclusion, I would like to reiterate the fact that I think that people can change. And change is necessary when you are not happy.

Sunday, November 30, 2008


Did you ever play MASH? That is probably one of the greatest games ever invented. When I was younger, I took this game so seriously. I remember freaking out when I got something that was not conducive to the perfect future. Like getting a green dress for my wedding dress. Or marrying the dorky guy in whatever class I happened to be in. However, tonight at my small group, we somehow ended up talking about guys (A group of girls: go figure). We were making up future husbands for each other and that was fun and all. But then Amanda Jenkins beings up the game of MASH and of course we decide to play it. I do not think that I have laughed as hard as I did when we were making our 'futures' in a long time. This game is definitely more fun when you loosen up and realize its just a ridiculous game.

Here is my future:

I am married to a Brazilian soccer player.

My wedding dress was diarrhea brown.

Our honeymoon was in Santa's workshop.

We live in a house... Wisconsin

We have two kids.

Our pet is a magical shoe.

I ride around town on a camel.

And I am a pedophile hunter. (I got a picture of Lara Croft because she's a relic hunter. And she's a BA)

I'm not going to lie, I think I would be most excited about the Brazilian soccer player for the husband.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Chilled Out Thankful Day

Thanksgiving was a good day. Good food. Good family. Good God. Here's me holding my beautiful nephew. I think I got to hold him a good two hours and he barely cried. He's sick right now with Thrush but he's getting better. Yeah, I'm glad I don't have babies yet. They are way too much responsibility.

Mama and Papa in the kitchen getting dinner ready. My dad rarely smiles with his teeth showing.

Mama in her goofy shirt and mardi gras beads.
Here are two of my 56 cousins (combined of both the mom and dad's side) and my sisters, of course. These cousins are pretty cool. Its weird to hang out with them and see them all grown up. I remember playing the most ridiculous games with them when I was younger and now here we are talking about college and tattoos and piercings. Good times.

And then here is us throwing a ball across the room with these really cool ball catcher things. I love how my mom is totally cool with us playing these kinds of games inside the house. And I would like to point out the red ball in the air. Photo courtesy of Mary T.

All in all it was a beautiful day.

Monday, November 24, 2008

angry day

Since I have now deemed this angry day, here is my angry poem from anatomy class this morning:
I want to tell you so bad
how often you make me so mad
but if i just started going
the words wouldn't stop flowing
and then you would see
how mean i could be
you've got a beautiful soul
but you're burning a hole
in my patience and sanity
when you speak with such vanity
you don't mean it, i'm sure
but you speak with a purr
about the medals you've won
and the cool things you've done

don't you know that its not okay
to say the kinds of things you always say?
again and again i bite my tongue
when you act like a kid that's just been stung.
again and again i want to wring your neck
and scream at you 'what the heck?'

in your oblivious ways
you dampen my days
because you make me frustrated
and a little bit jaded
you're charming and sweet
but flirt with everyone you greet
because you want the attention
so you put on a big production

do you even see,
what you are doing to me?
and the people around you,
what you're putting them through?

okay, done with my angry poem.

On a more positve note, I just made funfetti cookies and I'm feeling a little more tolerable about life in general.

Today is not a good day

I feel on edge. If anybody talked to me and made a comment that I could perceive as ignorant, rude or just plain stupid I could definitely see myself unleashing all pent up emotions on them. For example, I felt very similar to this when Ben chose to make a comment about my driving skill in Louisiana. If you were there, you know what happened after that.

And like a million people keep asking me about my application for the AT program. I am working on it. Its due in a week. I have time. Please stop stressing me out. Thank you. And I bet I have more done than any of the other pre-Athletic training students.

Wednesday night cannot come soon enough.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Random Sunset Post

The sunset was gorgeous last night. At first it wasn't anything special and then the sky just turned all sorts of pink and orange. Beautiful.

Thanksgiving is coming. One of the top things I am thankful for are sunsets.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Josiah Crawford

Ladies who read this blog, please contain yourself. He is still a boy and puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like every other guy. Because I know that he reads this blog, I decided to write one especially for him because he wrote about us when we were in Louisiana.

He's the kind of guy who will wear a pirate-like tank top and somehow be able to pull it off. He'll drag us to American Apparel so that he can buy a neon orange (or whatever color it was) for a party he's going to that night. He'll be randomly positive about circumstances but really be pessimistic about life in general. He is pretty observant for a guy. When you first meet him you think that he's a mute but he just doesn't talk if he doesn't have to. When ever you walk around with him, you find people always staring at you. And then you realize they are all girls. And then you make the connection that they are not staring at you but checking Josiah out. He dyes his hair all the time. And because he is a guy he gets away with doing it all the time because it doesn't take long for it to grow out.

Currently he lives in North Carolina and I don't get to hang out with him. But he's still one of my favorite people.

Bored in Anatomy Class

So on Friday I have Human Anatomy at 10:40 in the morning. Right now we are in our last section of learning stuff. So we only have one more test and I am super excited about that. But anyway, I was really just spacing out and lately I have found myself writing random poems and drawing random sketches of people so I decided to write a poem instead of learn about the digestive system because really isn't that pretty straightforward: it goes in one hole, breaks up, gets used for energy and the leftover stuff goes out another hole.

Anyway, I was telling people that I wrote a poem and they wanted me to read it to them but I didn't have it with me so I said I would blog about it. It feels weird putting here so don't judge me. And if I were to read it to you there would be proper inflection but I'm not there to personally read it to you.

In Like

What can I say?
I just can't have my way
I like you a lot
And its not cause your hot
But someone else likes you too
You might even know who
She's kind and she's funny
and cute as a bunny
While I'm awkward and plain
and my jokes are inane
You and I get along great
Some might even call it fate
But there's not a big chance
you would even ask me to dance
you're endearing and sensible
and just so incredible
when you open the door
I want to fall to the floor
Cause I look at your face
and my heart quickens its pace
the words don't come out
and I become a mute lout
my brain just stops working
and it looks like I'm lurking
you are just so calm and so cool
and I'm merely a lame bumbling fool
But I look up and see that I caught your eye
and maybe one day you'll become my guy.

Ugh, I am such a girl sometimes, its ridiculous.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Go go go go go

This blog is dedicated to a friend of mine. She knows who she is.

Home is where the heart is. To different people home can be many things. To me, home is where I learned who I am. Home is comforting. Home-coming is the best feeling in the world.

But in order for home to be something that you want to come back to, you have to leave. You have to experience life and see what is out there. You are going to make mistakes and you are going to have regrets. But I would rather regret doing something than regret not doing something.

Through experience we learn who we are and what we need to do in life. So, my friend, go. Just go and learn who you are. And home will still be here when you come back. Things might change and it might not be what you remembered when you come back, but it will still be all the things you need it to be.

Thursday, November 20, 2008


I have been thinking a lot about life lately. Like how I got here and all the turns that took me here. Like how my second year of college compares to my first year. Like how the most unexpected things happen when we do not expect it. Like how the small moments are so much greater than big things like success and money.

My life compared to last year has so much more joy. I am so content about life. I am just so at peace with how its going.

I just read my journal that I had randomly written in while I was in high school and I was so mad at the world. But nobody really knew it because I hid behind a smile and just pretended things were okay. And really my life was not bad I was just bitter and didn't have a better outlet than just writing stuff down. So maybe I just wrote on bad days. Maybe I just remember the bad things because its easier to be bitter than to admit that life was good for you. And I do remember good things.

I have also been learning a lot about expectations. Still. You would think that after Louisiana I wouldn't let my life be ruled by expectations of what I think should happen. But I do. I expect life to be different then it is. But its still the same. People keep surprising me in my life. I always have a first impression of people because I like to make up a story about them in my head. About 75% of the time I am wrong about them and they surprise me in a good way. Or a bad way. So I have learned to not completely write off people until I have known them for a while.

Oh life.

On a side note I am so excited for this semester to be over. Ten more days of classes. And then finals. And then Christmas.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Oh Joy

So I just need to get through this week. Then next week I have three days and Thanksgiving. And then the following week is a full week of classes. And the week after that is finals. And I don't have to show up for all finals. My last one is on Wednesday. And then I am done. Finito. El Fin.

Can I just say Halleluia?

I am so excited for this semester to be over with. I'm excited for everything Christmas. The lights. Hot Cocoa. Pine trees. No homework. Leisure reading. Traditions. Hanging out with my nephew. Waiting for my niece to be born. Sleeping in. Staying up late. Going to the movies. Hanging out with the friends who are near and coming in from far. Exchanging gifts. Cold (please?) Fires. Lifetime movie channel christmas movies marathon. Baking cookies.

Its going to be grand.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

What I came home to

So I came home last night about 10:30. After a day of paintballing with the youth group and then watching two softball games with my sister. I was exhausted. However, after seeing my dad asleep on the couch, I think he was a bit more tired.

I love how even though I am in college, my parents still wait up for me when they know I'm coming home. Well, at least they try.

And this picture is the sunset we saw when we were Paintballing in Norco: extremely close to where the fires were. But not close enough for evacuation. It was definitely better in person rather than in a picture.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Warning: emotional

So I got the new Taylor Swift album. And I love it. I was talking one time to my friend and Taylor Swift came up. I said that I wouldn't mind being friends with her. And my friend said "I feel like she has way too many emotions. There is no way she has felt all that in her young life" or something like that.

That got me thinking. And I realized why I love all her songs so much: its because I am so emotional. I have just always been a super emotional person. And I used to deny this about myself. I liked to think of myself as someone who was very well contained. And I can be. Especially around people that I don't know that well, I probably seem very reserved and contained. But really I can feel so many different emotions in the span of five minutes. I lately realized that its okay to be a stereotypical girl with all my emotions. Its okay that I cry during sad parts of movies or when I think about sad things that have happened in my life or other people's lives.

And really maybe being emotional helps me to connect with others. Maybe.

Anyway, I don't think I have stopped listening to Taylor since I got the album on Wednesday. I worked out last night and I was looking so forward to it all day because it was pure uninterrupted Taylor while I did all my exercises. Even the slow songs got me pumped.

Now let's hope I don't get sick of her...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Awkward Moments

I think I have experienced more awkward moments this year than I have ever experienced in my life. My latest experience you ask?

Well, you see, my roommate brought over her guy friend last night to watch a movie. (By guy friend I mean they are 'going out' but not officially together). And this was the first time I actually met him. Well they walk in and he sits on the couch and she turns on the t.v. and goes to her room to get something. So its just me and him in the room and we haven't even been introduced yet and we are saying nothing and just the television is on. And I am trying to think of a question to ask him or something to get conversation going and then the most unwanted commercial comes on: an advertisement for Cialis. And I swear that commercial is the longest commercial in the history of commercials.

I really wish I presented myself as much cooler during these situations. But that never seems to happen. I guess I need to work on my social skills.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Mission Inn Run: Pictures

Before the race started. 7:00 in the morning is way too early. But I was able to wake up with help from my mama.
Yay. Let's go run

Funny story: So the last mile I kept thinking that the end was like 100 meters away and so then I would start going faster but then when I would get there, it wouldn't be the end so this last slightly inclined twenty feet was the hardest part for me. So please excuse my lame running stance. And notice the smile. Yeah, that is because I was so happy to see the finish.

This is Elly. Her running is amazing. Look at that stride. And she just had a baby in June.

And Trevor was there!

In line getting free stuff. Notice how completely lost my face looks.

Yay for free food and drinks. No I did not take all that was in my hands.

Orange slices remind me of halftime during soccer games. Those good old days.

And that would be the Mission Inn Run 2008. Good times.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Mission Inn Run

So you know how all those posts ago I said that I was going to run in the Mission Inn Run? Well, it is here. Tomorrow, to be exact. At 7:30 am to be even more exact.

I'm running the 5k. It should be fun. We'll see how I do. My training has kind of slacked off these past few weeks because I have not had any time to work out and if there was time I would opt to just sit on the couch and go online. I think this might be a step up from just watching television though. At least with the internet I am engaging other parts of my anatomy then just my eyes.

Hopefully there will be more runs after this one. We'll see how it goes and if I even like running competitively.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Picture Post

So I was looking at the last posts that I have had and there have not been many pictures. So I decided to find some random pictures and just post them.

Here is the last Sunday with Cor. I don't think I ever put this picture on facebook.

Facebook caption: "born and raised"
She's going to be a studly fire dept. employee.

A random picture of one of my roommates eating a banana. Bananas are one of her favorite snacks.

So I'm showing you this picture because you can see half of the crack in my windshield. I need to get this fixed. Soon. It used to not bother me but now I think people keep taking double looks at it. And they just stare. So now I feel kind of ghetto with a crack in my windshield. Hopefully, my mom will call Friday. Or I will if she won't. She said she was going to call but she's a busy woman.

Speaking of my mama, here she is. She's studly, too.

Well that's the end of my picture post.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Yes we can

I am glad that we live in a society where when there is a change in political power, no guns need to be drawn and there is no fear in the street.

But wait, that's right. There is pride and sore losers in this country. Just the Facebook rants on people's status' makes me sick. Do people really expect ranting on a random person's status will change what happened? And then on the other end do people really need to rub it in other people's faces that there favored choice won or that such and such prop passed?

Another thing that I have been thinking is about how much faith we are putting in this one man. We expect him to change the institution of America. We expect him to be a saving grace in these troubled times. Can I break some sad news to y'all? He is a man. He is a man with a dream and yes things will change but he is not going to make everything perfect. Do you know how much power the president really even has? Our government is based on checks and balances and yes with a majorly democratic Senate and House, there will probably be more legislation that passes that comes from the president. But still this is changing just the legislation. Do you know what really needs to be changed? The attitudes of privileged North Americans.

Real change starts with us as individuals. That means us going out and making a difference. Wherever we are. To whoever our people group is. It may be high schoolers or it could be homeless people or abused women. We can make the world a better place with just being polite to the person at the checkstand when we are having a bad day. I am not talking just from a Christian standpoint either. Yes, I am a Christian and I believe entirely that Jesus is my savior. But I believe also that everyone needs to be in this together to get change. It's not just the fundamentalist Christians or the socially conscious feminists that need to drop their "me" first attitude. It's me. It's you. It's the people down the street.

Change is going to occur. Just like change has occurred with most every other president. Even with McCain there would have been changes. But I think real social change starts with us as individuals and really we can do this.

And to finish this very unlike me opinionated semi-political blog I would like to share a poem from Shel Silverstein (I grew up reading this guy)

Listen to the MUSTN’TS, child
Listen to the DON’TS
Listen to the SHOULDN’TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me -
Anything can happen, child
ANYTHING can be.

I really think this is perfect for right now.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Make a good day

This was written in chalk outside on the ground the other day. At first it read 'have a good day' but somebody crossed out the have and put a 'make.'

At first I thought that that's cool and so true. And then I forgot about it.

Randomly it popped into my head just now. I think I need to take this to heart. How can we make a good day? I think it starts with us and not letting anything get us down: boys, the election, roommates, too little sleep, classes, tests, friends, birthdays.

I want to have good days. I am going to make good days.

On another note, I was working out today and my knee gave out on me. It had been hurting all day and yesterday a bit but I figured it was the change in temperature. I wasn't even playing soccer. I have purposely been avoiding soccer so that this would not happen and then it did. So now with the pain and the give out, I'm not sure what to do. I guess I am going to let myself play soccer now because it doesn't matter what activity I do, it's going to give out on me.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

This week... going to be killer.

I was looking at my schedule and I have totally double booked myself in multiple areas. I don't know what to do. I hate letting people down. I don't know how I'm going to survive. I am kind of scared to go to bed tonight because I know that when I wake up I will have to face this week. And that is something that I do not want to do.

There are six weeks till this semester is over and I feel like there is so much to do. It will be interesting to see how I get everything done while still dealing with everything ridiculous in my life.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Things are looking up

This past weekend was so stressful and lame but things are calming down now. Reflection has set in and I realize that life is actually pretty good for me right now. I still have loads to do like an anatomy test next Wednesday that I should have started intensely studying for last week and I have observation hours for Athletic Training to finish up on, but really that is so small compared to what it could be.

I am in a Human Diversity class and the coursework that you are exposed to is really eye-opening. I'm just not a fan of the professor. However, yesterday I had to take a group oral exam with her for two hours. Being three on one with her really let me get to know her. And while I may not necessarily like her, I can still have respect for the person that she is. And so maybe now I won't give her such a terrible review on

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Monosyllabic replies

You know when you are mad at someone or just frustrated with them but they don't necessarily know it and you don't really want to flat out tell them? And so because they don't know the small detail of you being mad at them, they still talk to you like nothing is the matter. But when they ask you questions, you only answer in one word replies because you have no desire to give them the satisfaction of an answer that you actually thought through and considered. And maybe you also only give these replies because you are afraid that if you say anything more than that one or two words, you will regret saying whatever it is. This is because you are penting up your frustration, which is not healthy, and you know this but you still end up doing it because you want to keep the status quo. You don't want to cause a rift in the relationship because there is more than just you and that person that will be affected if you start anything.

And really all you want to do is let out your frustration but you want to do it in the healthiest way and you just don't know what that way is. And so instead you go to your room and wish that it would just solve itself without you having to do anything, even though you know that's not going to happen. You have to be proactive. But you want to do it in love. And how do you vent in love?

And so you just stick to your monosyllabic replies. Keeping the status quo.

But then you have no outlet for that anger. That frustration. And being frustrated is not healthy. It can make you lose sleep because all you can do is lie in bed and fume that the person does not get it. It can make you mad at other people for not doing anything. So then you ask yourself why aren't you doing anything? Why don't you have that spine? Didn't you always think you would have been in Gryfindor? Because you know only brave and loyal and courageous people were sorted into Gryfindor. You always thought that maybe you would be able to stand your ground when the forces were against you.

But things that work out in theory don't always work out in straight, hard core harsh, cold reality.

But you know what? The night is still young. It's not over. You can still fight. You can still think of the right words to say. I promise.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Oh Louisiana

So I have this slide show thing on the desktop of my computer and it randomly selects pictures from my picture folder and shows it. This picture just popped up. And it got me thinking about Louisiana again. I've been thinking about it a lot.
Today at chapel there was a song playing as everybody walked in and it was a song that we heard everyday because it was always the background music for every game we played and it was always playing when the kids arrived at the camp. Its called "You Are" by Kirk Franklin. I was just singing along to it and all of sudden I was asking myself how I knew this song and then I realized what it was.
I just can't seem to get away from Louisiana. I guess that means there is a good chance I'll be going back.
The kids in this picture are two of the Pastor's grandkids. By the end of the six weeks I was there, the boy, DeSean, was calling me his girlfriend. He was a total Pastor's Grandkid and got his way in everything. But really, how can you say no to this face?

Monday, October 20, 2008

21 days

It has been 21 days since my last post. I guess it is about time that we do this, eh?

This past weekend was probably one of the greatest weekends. I basically spent the majority of it with Alisha Elmo. For those of you who don't know Alisha, shame on you. She is such an amazing friend. She's a little quirky at times, but that makes her who she is.

This is by far one of my favorite pictures of her because she is so genuinely smiling here. I think she was laughing at my ridiculous-ness, but I'm willing to forgive her.

Our weekend started Thursday night when she calls to tell me that she has been stranded at her house and can't get to her car which is parked at CBU. Luckily I drive forty minutes to come unstrand her. (I was coming home anyway that night). And just to let you know, she lhad eft the keys in the ignition. It wasn't turned on. They were just in there. This is the epitome of Leesh. Then we decide to go and surprise Rachel Weinstein in her cottage. Which didn't work out to well because Rachel saw us before we could appropriately surprise her.

On Friday we help my sister with Special Olympics at CSDR. This is a really cool thing that this district does. After each sport, all the elementary, middle school and high schools in the district come together and they play each other. This time it was volleyball. It was a great way to start the day because all the kids just make me so happy. Leesh and I kept score for the jr. high games. Some got super competitive. What was the neatest thing was talking to the deaf kids from CSDR. Well trying to anyway. I basically just knew numbers and all they wanted to know was the score and if they were beating the team they were playing so they seemed to like it.

Then we go to a leadership conference. But we don't have to be there till later in the day, so we go on a little adventure. Basically we decide to just follow the sunset.

It was the best idea ever. I had a nice little photoshoot where Alisha took some stellar photos of me and we discovered that we could drive to my house by taking John F. Kennedy and turning on some random streets. We came back through that way and it seriously took five minutes. I really want to run that now. I just think it would be cool to be able to run to church from my house.

Then we went to the leadership conference thing that lasted to Saturday. I think the best thing that I got from that was new friends:

Emily and Kristin have always been people that I've known but never really got to know. Not going to lie, right before this picture Kristin and I were belting Taylor Swift's "love story." She pretty much became one of my favorite people after we did that. And Emily became one my favorite people when she developed a crush on one of the leaders from another church at the conference and continued to joke about it. Constantly.

After the conference, we went out to lunch and then I hang out with Alisha at her house. While we were there, two Mormon missionaries came to the door. And we talked to them about 10 minutes. I'm glad we did. It really just got me thinking about God and being able to articulate why I believe what I believe. They were nice guys and now thinking back to what we said I wish we could have talked longer and actually have delved into scripture.

Then later that night, Leesh and I go to church and then get ice cream with Kevin where we see Mercedes and some of her friends. Now Mercedes is from Spain. She moved here in jr. high and still says the wrong things when she thinks she's saying something else. Luckily she made the encounter quite unforgettable.

All I gotta say is that only Mercedes would serenade everybody in Albertson's parking lot. The girl playing the violin in Breanna. She's from Spain, too.

After this unexpected surprise, Leesh and I head to my brother in law's softball game.

Where I see my preggo sister with straight hair.Unfortunately, they lost. I think that makes them 0-3.

About this time, Alisha and I part ways. I go home and to my lovely surprise my other sister and her husband were there with Wyatt. And I got to hold him for a bit.

I really think he's going to be spoiled by me. Which is probably good because he is definitely not going to be getting that from his mama.

And Sunday was pretty relaxing. I went to church. Hung out with some high schoolers. Made embarrassing elephant noises. Took a nap when I should have been reading. Made funfetti cookies for the OG. Went to the OG. Read in Psalms. Drove back to APU and went to bed relatively early. I just wished this weekend lasted a little longer. No I am back to reality.

My only motivation to keep going is Thanksgiving break in 5 1/2 weeks. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Goofy Picts

Okay, so Rachel was a dear and posted up goofy pictures of us and so I thought that I would do the same.

I miss these kiddos.

"Aww" moment

So today at youth group, there were three girls that I went up to. One of them I knew really well and so I gave her a hug. Another I did not know so I introduced myself to her. And the last I had met a while ago and I remembered her name so right after I met the new girl, I said "and your name is paige." So then she gives me this huge smile and says "yes, thanks for remembering." And for some reason that made me go "aww" inside my head.

It just really reminded me of Travis Osborne and how he would always remember everyone's name and everyone's life story. I don't think he reads this but here is a shout out to him. Whenever my friends from the church reminisce about old times we always just think about the Osbornes. Seriously, we were so blessed to have them in our lives. And I am so excited for all the lives that they are touching up at Simpson University.

Hmmm, I am really in the mood to bake some cookies, but I have a meeting to go to soonish. So I think I will make some tomorrow. .

Friday, October 3, 2008

Oh roommates.

So last night, I don't get back from work until midnight. I come in and all three of my roommates are in the living area studying and doing homework. I go to my room and drop off a bag and I hear Ariel say "Kai, do it." Oh no, I think to myself, what ridiculous thing have they found to laugh about now?

So I walk out of my room and Kai has a blanket around her head and she is crouching on the floor. All I see of her is her face and her eyes are oddly big and round so it looks rather odd. It reminds me of the creature Bartok from the Disney version of Anastasia (even though it was completely inaccurate, I really like this movie). Here is a picture of Bartok in case you cannot recall what he looked like.
I really was not amused by it. In fact, I kind of just kept walking and Kai seemed to just bounce off of me and ended up sprawled out on the floor.
Anyway, they also made a video before I got back from work. I highly encourage you to watch it so that you can understand the type of people I live with.

Anyway, I am exhausted and so I head off to bed, but I cannot fall asleep. Kai and Kim and Ariel are still up (its about 1:00 now) because Kai and Kim have test and Ariel has an 8 page paper that she procrastinated on. Now, the walls in this mod are very thin. I can hear basically everything that they are saying, when they are talking. And its funny because every once in a while they talk about me. Now, I have been so busy lately just because I am doing and involved in so many things, so I cannot procrastinate on anything. It also makes me extremely worn out so I am usually in bed by midnight. There are some nights that maybe I should stay up later to do homework, but it is physically impossible for me to stay awake. So anyway, one of the things that I hear that completely made my day was from Kim. She says "I'm going to start wearing a W.W.J.D. bracelet for 'What would Jane do?'" I start cracking up but I don't want to be too loud and let them know that I heard them. So I just stifle my laughter and eventually drift off to sleep.

It really just makes me laugh because I feel like I am barely hanging on and keeping a grip on everything. I think its funny that they think I am so organized and whatnot.

I love my roommates. And eavesdropping apparently.

Monday, September 29, 2008

"I'm glad you are in my life"

So today I learned via Facebook that a family that I babysat for the three years before I left for college got hit by a drunk driver. The mom and the kids were in the car. I found out not too long ago that they are okay, just a little shook up. At first it seemed so not real. I just saw these people at church on Sunday and now I hear completely out of the blue that they were at the hospital. And really I remember mostly just brushing her off at church. I was more interested in the high schoolers and my friends who were my age.

Everytime after I was done babysitting, she would walk me out to my car, talk with me a little bit, make me laugh and tell me to drive safely. Every time. But did I ever tell her that those talks meant something to me? I really don't think I did. I am just so thankful that she and the kids are alright.

These are the kids. Aren't they just so adorable? Except really, they are little terrors.

I know this sounds so cliche and trite that just because I could have potentially lost someone valuable to me, I'm going to start treating everybody like they really matter to me. And really I probably won't change much. I am curious as to how this will affect me though. Like all this time that I spend on Facebook or other internet sights, even this blog, why am I not writing letters or doing homework or reading books for pleasure or outside playing soccer or spending time with my community?

Because this is just easier. I really thought that I was changing. I am asking those questions that my friends can't just say "Fine" to. I want to know what is going on in their life. But maybe there is something that I am missing. I think I am going to try and find that. This is kind of ironic because I keep losing things. Like my school I.D. which I usually find in some bag or jeans pocket. Or my watch, which still hasn't shown up. And my mind, which hopefully will come back to me soon. I really need to start searching.

Being home means taking pictures

I love when there are clouds in the sky. This one is taken from the Grove Parking lot. I kind of got the camera out a little late but you kind of get the picture of how amazing this sunset was.

Two words. Palm Trees.
This one was taken thorugh the windshield. It really doesn't work when its dirty. Whoops. And then there is my dog Turbo who kept looking away when I tried to take his picture. And so then I got this one but he's still not looking at me. And then he just lays down. I love Riverside. I really do.