Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Things are looking up

This past weekend was so stressful and lame but things are calming down now. Reflection has set in and I realize that life is actually pretty good for me right now. I still have loads to do like an anatomy test next Wednesday that I should have started intensely studying for last week and I have observation hours for Athletic Training to finish up on, but really that is so small compared to what it could be.

I am in a Human Diversity class and the coursework that you are exposed to is really eye-opening. I'm just not a fan of the professor. However, yesterday I had to take a group oral exam with her for two hours. Being three on one with her really let me get to know her. And while I may not necessarily like her, I can still have respect for the person that she is. And so maybe now I won't give her such a terrible review on ratemyprofessor.com.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Monosyllabic replies

You know when you are mad at someone or just frustrated with them but they don't necessarily know it and you don't really want to flat out tell them? And so because they don't know the small detail of you being mad at them, they still talk to you like nothing is the matter. But when they ask you questions, you only answer in one word replies because you have no desire to give them the satisfaction of an answer that you actually thought through and considered. And maybe you also only give these replies because you are afraid that if you say anything more than that one or two words, you will regret saying whatever it is. This is because you are penting up your frustration, which is not healthy, and you know this but you still end up doing it because you want to keep the status quo. You don't want to cause a rift in the relationship because there is more than just you and that person that will be affected if you start anything.

And really all you want to do is let out your frustration but you want to do it in the healthiest way and you just don't know what that way is. And so instead you go to your room and wish that it would just solve itself without you having to do anything, even though you know that's not going to happen. You have to be proactive. But you want to do it in love. And how do you vent in love?

And so you just stick to your monosyllabic replies. Keeping the status quo.

But then you have no outlet for that anger. That frustration. And being frustrated is not healthy. It can make you lose sleep because all you can do is lie in bed and fume that the person does not get it. It can make you mad at other people for not doing anything. So then you ask yourself why aren't you doing anything? Why don't you have that spine? Didn't you always think you would have been in Gryfindor? Because you know only brave and loyal and courageous people were sorted into Gryfindor. You always thought that maybe you would be able to stand your ground when the forces were against you.

But things that work out in theory don't always work out in straight, hard core harsh, cold reality.

But you know what? The night is still young. It's not over. You can still fight. You can still think of the right words to say. I promise.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Oh Louisiana

So I have this slide show thing on the desktop of my computer and it randomly selects pictures from my picture folder and shows it. This picture just popped up. And it got me thinking about Louisiana again. I've been thinking about it a lot.
Today at chapel there was a song playing as everybody walked in and it was a song that we heard everyday because it was always the background music for every game we played and it was always playing when the kids arrived at the camp. Its called "You Are" by Kirk Franklin. I was just singing along to it and all of sudden I was asking myself how I knew this song and then I realized what it was.
I just can't seem to get away from Louisiana. I guess that means there is a good chance I'll be going back.
The kids in this picture are two of the Pastor's grandkids. By the end of the six weeks I was there, the boy, DeSean, was calling me his girlfriend. He was a total Pastor's Grandkid and got his way in everything. But really, how can you say no to this face?

Monday, October 20, 2008

21 days

It has been 21 days since my last post. I guess it is about time that we do this, eh?

This past weekend was probably one of the greatest weekends. I basically spent the majority of it with Alisha Elmo. For those of you who don't know Alisha, shame on you. She is such an amazing friend. She's a little quirky at times, but that makes her who she is.

This is by far one of my favorite pictures of her because she is so genuinely smiling here. I think she was laughing at my ridiculous-ness, but I'm willing to forgive her.

Our weekend started Thursday night when she calls to tell me that she has been stranded at her house and can't get to her car which is parked at CBU. Luckily I drive forty minutes to come unstrand her. (I was coming home anyway that night). And just to let you know, she lhad eft the keys in the ignition. It wasn't turned on. They were just in there. This is the epitome of Leesh. Then we decide to go and surprise Rachel Weinstein in her cottage. Which didn't work out to well because Rachel saw us before we could appropriately surprise her.

On Friday we help my sister with Special Olympics at CSDR. This is a really cool thing that this district does. After each sport, all the elementary, middle school and high schools in the district come together and they play each other. This time it was volleyball. It was a great way to start the day because all the kids just make me so happy. Leesh and I kept score for the jr. high games. Some got super competitive. What was the neatest thing was talking to the deaf kids from CSDR. Well trying to anyway. I basically just knew numbers and all they wanted to know was the score and if they were beating the team they were playing so they seemed to like it.

Then we go to a leadership conference. But we don't have to be there till later in the day, so we go on a little adventure. Basically we decide to just follow the sunset.

It was the best idea ever. I had a nice little photoshoot where Alisha took some stellar photos of me and we discovered that we could drive to my house by taking John F. Kennedy and turning on some random streets. We came back through that way and it seriously took five minutes. I really want to run that now. I just think it would be cool to be able to run to church from my house.

Then we went to the leadership conference thing that lasted to Saturday. I think the best thing that I got from that was new friends:

Emily and Kristin have always been people that I've known but never really got to know. Not going to lie, right before this picture Kristin and I were belting Taylor Swift's "love story." She pretty much became one of my favorite people after we did that. And Emily became one my favorite people when she developed a crush on one of the leaders from another church at the conference and continued to joke about it. Constantly.

After the conference, we went out to lunch and then I hang out with Alisha at her house. While we were there, two Mormon missionaries came to the door. And we talked to them about 10 minutes. I'm glad we did. It really just got me thinking about God and being able to articulate why I believe what I believe. They were nice guys and now thinking back to what we said I wish we could have talked longer and actually have delved into scripture.

Then later that night, Leesh and I go to church and then get ice cream with Kevin where we see Mercedes and some of her friends. Now Mercedes is from Spain. She moved here in jr. high and still says the wrong things when she thinks she's saying something else. Luckily she made the encounter quite unforgettable.

All I gotta say is that only Mercedes would serenade everybody in Albertson's parking lot. The girl playing the violin in Breanna. She's from Spain, too.

After this unexpected surprise, Leesh and I head to my brother in law's softball game.

Where I see my preggo sister with straight hair.Unfortunately, they lost. I think that makes them 0-3.

About this time, Alisha and I part ways. I go home and to my lovely surprise my other sister and her husband were there with Wyatt. And I got to hold him for a bit.

I really think he's going to be spoiled by me. Which is probably good because he is definitely not going to be getting that from his mama.

And Sunday was pretty relaxing. I went to church. Hung out with some high schoolers. Made embarrassing elephant noises. Took a nap when I should have been reading. Made funfetti cookies for the OG. Went to the OG. Read in Psalms. Drove back to APU and went to bed relatively early. I just wished this weekend lasted a little longer. No I am back to reality.

My only motivation to keep going is Thanksgiving break in 5 1/2 weeks. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Goofy Picts

Okay, so Rachel was a dear and posted up goofy pictures of us and so I thought that I would do the same.

I miss these kiddos.

"Aww" moment

So today at youth group, there were three girls that I went up to. One of them I knew really well and so I gave her a hug. Another I did not know so I introduced myself to her. And the last I had met a while ago and I remembered her name so right after I met the new girl, I said "and your name is paige." So then she gives me this huge smile and says "yes, thanks for remembering." And for some reason that made me go "aww" inside my head.

It just really reminded me of Travis Osborne and how he would always remember everyone's name and everyone's life story. I don't think he reads this but here is a shout out to him. Whenever my friends from the church reminisce about old times we always just think about the Osbornes. Seriously, we were so blessed to have them in our lives. And I am so excited for all the lives that they are touching up at Simpson University.

Hmmm, I am really in the mood to bake some cookies, but I have a meeting to go to soonish. So I think I will make some tomorrow. .

Friday, October 3, 2008

Oh roommates.

So last night, I don't get back from work until midnight. I come in and all three of my roommates are in the living area studying and doing homework. I go to my room and drop off a bag and I hear Ariel say "Kai, do it." Oh no, I think to myself, what ridiculous thing have they found to laugh about now?

So I walk out of my room and Kai has a blanket around her head and she is crouching on the floor. All I see of her is her face and her eyes are oddly big and round so it looks rather odd. It reminds me of the creature Bartok from the Disney version of Anastasia (even though it was completely inaccurate, I really like this movie). Here is a picture of Bartok in case you cannot recall what he looked like.
I really was not amused by it. In fact, I kind of just kept walking and Kai seemed to just bounce off of me and ended up sprawled out on the floor.
Anyway, they also made a video before I got back from work. I highly encourage you to watch it so that you can understand the type of people I live with.

Anyway, I am exhausted and so I head off to bed, but I cannot fall asleep. Kai and Kim and Ariel are still up (its about 1:00 now) because Kai and Kim have test and Ariel has an 8 page paper that she procrastinated on. Now, the walls in this mod are very thin. I can hear basically everything that they are saying, when they are talking. And its funny because every once in a while they talk about me. Now, I have been so busy lately just because I am doing and involved in so many things, so I cannot procrastinate on anything. It also makes me extremely worn out so I am usually in bed by midnight. There are some nights that maybe I should stay up later to do homework, but it is physically impossible for me to stay awake. So anyway, one of the things that I hear that completely made my day was from Kim. She says "I'm going to start wearing a W.W.J.D. bracelet for 'What would Jane do?'" I start cracking up but I don't want to be too loud and let them know that I heard them. So I just stifle my laughter and eventually drift off to sleep.

It really just makes me laugh because I feel like I am barely hanging on and keeping a grip on everything. I think its funny that they think I am so organized and whatnot.

I love my roommates. And eavesdropping apparently.