Wednesday, November 30, 2011
When did that happen?
So much has happened, from playoffs with the football team, to starting basketball season, to a Texas thanksgiving, to getting into a car accident (whoops), it has been a long month.
And it just keeps going. This is my last week of classes and then I have finals next week and then I'll be back in California the next week. I cannot wait.
I love Texas, I am just ready for friends, family and Mission Inn lights.
I have faith that I am here for a reason, but it is often hard to maintain joy and peace and contentment when the future is so uncertain.
I love the people in my athletic training class. Well, I've finally started to get to know them and be comfortable around them and therefore love has grown. We all wonder why we're getting our Master's. I know for me, it's turning out to be a lot more work then I expected.
And now I just don't know if I want to be an athletic trainer anymore. There are so many politics and misconceptions and stereotypes that exhaust me as much as the school work does. I also do not look good in khaki, which is really just unfortunate, considering it is a given wardrobe dresscode.
So what will I be you ask? I have no idea. But I'm here for another three semesters. Maybe I'll know by then.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
And honestly, I have been wanting to delete it for a while. The situation that occurred was just the catalyst. The thing that would always stop me was the fact that I might lose contact with some friends. However, I still have other social media pages and a text or a phone call is way better than a comment anyway. And who doesn't love a hand written note?
On the positive side, I have been doing less stalking. I feel like facebook is always the go-to site for when I don't have anything else to do. (I'm probably not alone in that, let's just be honest.)
So how do I spend my time now, you ask? I wish I could say that now I am more productive with school stuff, but really I just found a new obsession: the newspaper. I get it for free on campus: the Waco Tribune-Herald and the New York Times. I love it. Sometimes I can pick up free internet in my apartment and other times I can't. So when I can't I just read the newspaper and do the crossword. I kind of have become a nerd about it.
I don't miss facebook. At all.
But that doesn't mean I won't ever go back on again. Maybe Christmas time.
Or when I become too obsessed with the newspaper. Any obsession is a bad obsession.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
There's the nice coaches who are just thankful you're there so they will agree with what ever you say and find the information you need.
There's also the coaches who cannot think of anything but football (or volleyball depending on who) and telling them the details will get you nowhere.
And some coaches all you say is hi to because conversation beyond that is just awkward.
And then you have the players: there's the players who are the hopelessly injured. You try to get them better but the next week they just re-sprain their ankle because of their lack of athleticism. But they do have heart. So we tape their ankle and put them back on the field.
There's the player who is so endearing but he ends up getting the season ending injury. He doesn't know that part yet so he remains optimistic and dutifully shows up for treatment.
And there's also the players who are always 'hurt' but really they just need some attention.
I also deal with the player who needs some relationship advice. I really don't have any but me just listening always seems to help.
Then there's the athlete who is going to tape her ankle and continue to go full force even though she's not in season yet. So we need to try and pull her in a bit while avoiding the words 'rehab' and 'no activity' because then she'll just work harder to prove she is NOT injured.
And lastly, there's the players who are the cool kids. Is it crazy that I am still intimidated by these kids? I try to be the "cool" Miss Read but I'm pretty sure they see through my act.
And honestly, I already love all the students I interact with.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
I feel like I have never been more disorganized as a student. I am just struggling with making sure I get to everything. Case in point, last Friday, I completely forgot to go to a MANDATORY orientation at the hospital (its so that I can see surgeries and write papers about them. Joy). Anyway, it completely slipped my mind. I have NEVER done that sort of thing. It worked out and I was able to go to an orientation on Wednesday where I sat in a room where everyone was in their late 20's, married and med students. It was quite an experience.
Anyway, back to my classes.
On Tuesday, I have advanced method of strength and conditioning. This class essentially prepares its students for the CSCS (Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist) test. I have never really thought much about getting my CSCS except that it would put a few more initials after my name and who doesn't want that?
During this class I had an epiphany. We were talking about setting goals with the person we were working with and comparing "outcomes-based" and "task-oriented based." It was during this discussion that I realized why I am having such a hard time being here. I don't know what I'm working for. I don't have a bigger picture goal. And that is how I roll. I am an outcomes-based goal setter.
In high school, I did all my work so that I could get into college and receive a scholarship. In college, I found out about GA positions and worked to get one of those. And now that I'm here I don't know what I'm working towards. Two years is a long time and at the same time, not that long at all. It's too soon to start applying for jobs but its not enough time to just slack.
And I feel like I keep hearing God whispering "Do you trust me?" whenever I wonder what the hell I'm doing in the middle of nowhere or when I digress about not having a significant other or when the heat is too much and I just want the beach.
I am questioning me being here. I am questioning being an athletic trainer the rest of my life. And I am questioning my sanity of moving so far from my family.
And yet God keeps asking "Do you trust me?" And I want to completely trust him and his plan and keep doing what I'm doing until there is a path for me take next. The next outcome. But its so hard to be patient when its 105 degrees outside
But other than that, life is good.
Friday, August 26, 2011
He told me about this one training tactic that I thought was pretty genius and yet twisted at the same time. He and the other guys (I don't know if there were girls now that I think about it) would sit in a room and hit their forearms with an object. I forget the exact object they used it could have been a ruler. The point was that they would desensitize their top layer of skin so that minor scrapes and bruises wouldn't bother them as much. April (the head AT) and I would take turns trying to give him Indian burns (is that a politically correct term anymore?) but it would not bother him.
I haven't thought about this for a while hence the details being fuzzy. But I was telling this kid about it because he had an annoying bruise on his forearm that we kept padding during practice so it would not hurt as much. I told him he should do that and in essence harden his skin. I was completely kidding and he did not take me seriously but it got me thinking.
I think this concept could be applied to somethig bigger.
The coaches at my school like to give the kids a hard time when they're hurt. They call them soft or just sigh heavily when they're talkig to them. It bothers me. A lot. But there is literally nothing I can do about it. It is the culture in this town and really it is done to give the kid a hard time and not necessarily done in an abusive way.
So I realize I needed to harden my feelings towards all comments made by the coaches. I am someone who thrives on positive encouragement. This is evidenced by the fact that my favorite coach here is the one who has said I was doing a good job.
But when the head coach is riding the kid who just sprained his ankle during a game, I really need to let it go. I need to talk to the kid myself and say 'I don't care what he says, you are not playing because I do not want you to injure yourself worse.' And then I need to systematically desensitize my self towards anything any of the coaches say.
In essence, harden myself.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
During the scrimmage, I had to cover multiple bleeding wounds. There was this one kid who came back to me two seconds after I covered his elbow and I was giving him a hard time about bleeding too much. I proceeded to cover it, realizing I had to maintain some level of professionalism on the field. He then smiled and said "Thank you! I love you" in an impish sort of way. It absolutely made my day. He by no means meant it in any other way then a child to a caretaker way.
There is something about high schoolers that I absolutely love. They are naive and yet at the same time think they know so much about the world. I'm just glad I'm not still in that phase.
There were some injuries last night that I had to rush on the field to attend to. Thankfully, none were catastrophic but it gave me good practice for when there will be an injury and I will have to activate EMS and c-spine an athlete and it will be me in charge. But until then, I will continue to pray for no injuries.
And I was introduced in front of the whole crowd as the new athletic trainer. I definitely was not expecting that but now everyone has a face to whenever their child talks about their "trainer."
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Theres been this kid for the last two weeks who has had this knot in his back. And sometimes there has been numbness and tingling. I thought it was going away but than Monday he said it was worse. After talking to some people that night I started thinking of other things I could do. The next morning he came in and he had a positive compression test. So I told him he needed to go get x-rays. His mom came and it turns out his first rib was broken. Can you believe he's been playing football this long with a fractured rib? I'm just glad nothing more serious happened but now there goes his season. That is really the worse part of this job.
Another part of this job I am not a fan of are the coaches who try to keep it old school. They want to rub some dirt on it. And yes some of the kids need to do this but some of them do have serious injuries. And it is so annoying when the coach yells at the kid to man up when they are getting treatment. But it will get better. Maybe.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Yes, it has been really early mornings.
But it has, thus far, been worth it. I love the kids already. Wednesday morning I walked into the gym where the cross country team was meeting and received an echo of "Good morning, Miss Read." I interact mostly with football players and volleyball players and they are the politest kids in the world.
The high school is in a small town, and everything they say about small towns is true. Also, it seems that every kid is in a relationship. And I have already heard about the drama of playing and not playing and boyfriend/girlfriend he said/she said.
It has also been very stressful as I am not completely sure of myself. I am just grateful that on the first day of hitting in pads there were not three concussions like there was on my first day at South Hills High School. I have already held a player out to the disappointment of the coach (who is also the athletic director). But now the kid is fine, so I'm not too broken up about the situation. Also, one of the coaches came up to me on Friday, gave me a side hug, and said I was doing a good job for only being here a week. It made my day.
I am currently living on my own, which is an experience of itself. I have already learned I cannot watch creepy shows when it is close to bedtime. My job keeps me busy through the week but on the weekends I have needed to learn to slow down. Which I honestly have not achieved. I pick up my roommate from the airport next Saturday and I cannot wait for the company. I think I miss that the most: community. Face-to-face talking with people my own age or older. Not high schoolers. I do not miss that drama.
This morning I went to a local church, but it did not seem like a good fit for me. Throughout the service, I wavered between wanting to go up to the welcome desk to join a lifegroup to not wanting to. Ultimately, I refrained. If I was on the fence, maybe it just wasn't the time. Next week I'm going to First Baptist of Waco. My sister will be so proud.
Also it has been so hot. Record breaking hot. Texans are hoping for hurricanes to break up this heat wave. It has seriously been the thing that has made me most want to get out here fast. But pretty soon I'll be saying that about the cold. Maybe I'll learn to embrace the weather.
Like I am embracing the quiet in this apartment.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
The lake used to be stocked with trout but environmentalists made a fuss and now there aren't that many trout fish around. In previous years, almost 50 fish would be caught using the method of trolling. However, it is not common to catch bass or catfish using that method so it was changed to casting and reeling. Last year, there was five fish caught and this year there was only one: the large mouth bass you see before you.
Go big or go home.
Monday, June 27, 2011
And twin three year olds. It was quite entertaining. We basically watched movies the whole time: The incredibles, Toy Story 3, Tangled, Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, Gnomeo and Juliet (twice), The Princess and the Frog, Tron: Legacy, Race to Witch Mountain, Sleeping Beauty, Scooby Doo episodes and Scooby Doo movie.
We even got to watch the sunset somewhere in Utah.
I really enjoy spending time with this side of the family considering I have not seen them for five years. We're trying to change that.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
1. Dogs run at you until they can no longer see you. (Some call it protecting their home. Others call it annoying. I find it endearing.) Cats, squirrels and bunnies run from you. (I may or may not have seen all these animals in just today’s run). And horses stare at you. (They are either thinking you are crazy for running or are jealous of your freedom. Either way, they are judging you.)
2. Always run through mother’s nature obstacle course. While there is a higher chance of hurting yourself, jumping over flower bushes and trekking through sand makes the journey that much more interesting. And it probably puts on a show for the cars driving past you and maybe you make their day when you stumble and almost fall on your face. (Yes, almost. I caught myself).
3. Speaking of cars, don’t try and compete with the cars and get frustrated they are beating you up the street. They have more horsepower than the one horse that judged you earlier. They are supposed to beat you.
4. While running down a steep slope leads to high impact on the body, it does help you pick up speed while trying to navigate the obstacle course. It may also lead to the stumbling I talked about earlier.
5. Ending with an upward climb up a hill is never a smart idea. Living at the top of a long-ish driveway does not help this matter.
6. Thinking about anything serious only leads to depressing to do lists and anxious thoughts about moving. In this instance, maybe the music is missed.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Trevor dale. 3 lbs, 11 oz. He was born about 9 weeks early.
It's weird being an aunt. I already love him but I haven't even laid eyes on him. I also will probably not be able to hold him before I leave. By Christmas, he is going to be so big.
Please be praying?
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Monday: Softball game
But our team won. NBD.
Wednesday: Lyndsay and I visited South Hills
Thursday: ATEP awards banquet.
On nights like these we ditch the khaki and polo for something classy.
Saturday: GRADUATION!! (just a few of the pictures)
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
I started going over my plan for if this happened. It wouldn't be too bad. I would just sign up to take it again. I'd have to wait till June, but it would work out. And then I could just apply for temporary licensure for my Texas gig. It would work out. I would be out a couple hundred bucks but it would work out.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Anyway, how great would it be to just go. I like where I'm going in life, but sometimes I feel trapped. I have to finish college. I can't go too far (long term) because my family is reproducing at an exponential rate and I want to be there (they want me there, too, I hope.) And then there's my friends. I want to be there for their new boyfriends and new adventures and art shows. But sometimes, we have to just go.
I went for a walk today around my neighborhood. There's a path that leads to a man made river and it is just surrounded by mountains. It's really pretty. But I was just struck by how lucky I am. I don't have to hide my faith and yet, maybe because it is so easy, I am so apathetic about it all.
I have some friends who are really great. You can just see Jesus in everything they do. Their commitment and joy, it all comes from him. I want that. I want my joy to be in Jesus.
I'm taking a test soon. Its the BOC. Its like the NCLEX or Bar examination of Athletic Training. I want to pass on my first try. But really, its the prideful side of me (and the money worrying since it costs a few hundred every time) that really wants to pass it the first time. The worst thing that would happen is that I take it again in June.
And even if I don't pass it, I still have this peace in Jesus. What more do I need?
By society's standards, I need a lot more. But that is another post for another day.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
This past weekend was Night of Champions. It is an all day event put on by APU and FCA for elementary to high school aged kids. They come play games, eat In-n-out, get a shirt, sing some worship songs and listen to a few speakers.
I got to help out with First Aid, meaning we walk around giving kids band aids or ice and have a water station set up, so no one suffers from lack of hydration.
Here is the group that walked around. It was surprisingly eventful with a dislocated shoulder, a bloody nose, a cut-up eyebrow and other bumps and bruises.
The main speaker this year was Jordy Nelson, a current wide receiver with the Green Bay Packers.
For his talk, he sat on the stage with his chaplain and they talked about his motivation and his life. There was no defining moment for his walk with Christ, he grew up in small town Kansas, was really good at football and eventually got drafted.
He kept getting asked if it feels different after winning a super bowl and he really hasn't. There is no difference except the addition of a ring to his possessions. His wife brought clarity to the situation when she told him that this is because it was not the end all, be all of his life. Those are not the exact words he said when recounting his experience but it's my take on the situation.
We were not created to specifically win championships or to find our soulmate or to own a successful business. Those things are great and they add richness to our lives but they should not be the end all, be all. God is.
Out relationship with Jesus is what should drive us to the ends of the earth or across the street. I think I forget this sometimes. In fact, I know I do. I think that I have something to prove. That is why I'm still going to get good grades my last semester of college, that is why I am pursuing graduate study, that is why I do not procrastinate. I have to prove my worth in this world.
But really, I have worth in Christ. That is where my identity lies. That is my end all, be all. All this stuff of the world is just icing on the cake.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
I have known this girl forever. We met at Victoria Community Church at the age where everyone immediately becomes your friend. I wish I could remember that first day and see if I would ever think that we would remain friends this long. As the years went on we didn't necessarily always hang out. We had other friends at school and in our other extracurricular activities. But we always seemed to connect at church, whether it be a mission trip to Chile or being on the same team at camp (Running Noses) or even just a regular youth group night.
I think this is why our relationship has lasted so long. God was always at our center. There was a time where we would come with analogies about our walks with God and tell them to each other. I mean it also helped our relationship that we were similar in some ways, like our tendency to remember obscure movie facts.
And at the top this was waiting for us. It was absolutely breathtaking.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Here is Ally (with my mom creeping in the background) and she is making sentences and being a two-year old (which entails being a brat at times. but she is an adorable little brat) But it was the first time I actually felt like an aunt. After dinner I went with Wyatt and Ally to play with some play dough. It was nice that they were not running from me or saying no when I tried to talk to them (this especially happens when Ally decides to be her two year old self). I even stopped some arguments. I can't wait till they're older and I can really spoil them.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
This was the sign that greeted me when I got off at the aiport (it only had three terminals - it was smaller than the airport in Helena, Mt. )
When I got there I stayed with two GAs who cooked me dinner and answered any questions I may have had. I'm not going to lie, there were times of extreme awkwardness but they were super nice and I'm glad I got to meet them.
Apparently, the forecast involved ice rain. So we woke up to a bitter cold with roads and sidewalks of slippery ice. I was almost completely prepared but considering my plans were to look professional, wearing tennis shoes with nice black slacks was not going to work out. Thank goodness I did not pack a skirt or anything. And thankfully, I did not eat it.
It had been on the schedule for me to check out the high school I would be interning at but the weather caused the school to be shut down. Too much ice on the ground. Texas drivers do not know how to drive on ice roads apparently: I was told that between the times of 8:00 and 10:00 there were forty wrecks in the town of Waco. ... Dang.
So instead I spent the day with Jessica, one of the GA's for football and we got to stay cozy warm in this indoor facility: