Sunday, August 31, 2008
And because I feel such a love for Louisiana I have been reading a lot about Hurrican Gustav. This time if the storm hits, I know people that live there that could be deeply affected by this event. It makes it seem so much more real because in the pictures they show places that I have actually visited.
And isn't crazy that we can see this storm coming but we cannot do anything to stop it? No amount of technology in the world can stop a hurricane with thousand mile per hour winds. We can try and protect the houses with sand bags and what not. But we can't just continue on in our lives.
This realization hit me today that no matter how much the knews reports about this storm, they can't make it go away. It is going on the route it chooses. Maybe Louisiana will get lucky and it will suddenly change direction but we can't tell Hurricane Gustav to do this or coax him to stop his howling.
It just made me realize the prestige and power that this storm carries with it.
She's a little quirky and inappropriate at times but she is so genuine, so thoughtful, so caring, so amazing that I am going to miss her so much while she is gone. But she is going to do amazing things while she is there. And really how long is year in the scheme of life? 365 days. 525,600 minutes. 31,622,400 seconds.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Well I was facebook chatting (a wonderful little thing, thanks facebook) with a friend and we were talking about playing soccer.
I haven't played competitive soccer since April 26, 2006. That was the night that I tore my ACL; an injury that would come to haunt me for several months, and probably the rest of my life. I had surgery to repair it but I never completely got back into competitive soccer. And then while I was playing intramurals, I hurt my knee again and had to have surgery again, this time on my meniscus. That was at the beginning of the summer. It went really well and it truly felt like it would not just go out on me again. However, I was wrong.
In my first pick up soccer game this summer, I hurt it again and it swelled up and of course I was trying to impress a guy so I kept playing and didn't immediately ice it like I maybe should have.
Anyway, back to the facebook conversation, my friend asked me if I ever thought about getting back into it. And I do think about it. I think about how cool it would be to play for APU and be competitive again and score goals and get that incredible rush after a hard played game, but I don't think that is where I am supposed to be.
I really do love where I am at in life. I am majoring in Athletic Training, with a minor in Leadership. I have some of the most amazing friends that are scattered everywhere. I help out with high school youth group at my church on Wednesday nights, which I absolutely love because I like high schoolers for some reason.
And soccer really is not out of my life forever. Maybe I'll play in an indoor team soon or I'll become a high school soccer coach or anything. But I do miss it. So if ever you want to play, do you think you can invite me?
Friday, August 29, 2008
Sometimes, I feel unappreciated by the athletes but then I realize that if I had been an athlete here I probably would do the same things they do. So what can you do?
There's the buzzer, time to earn my pay.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
And then I discovered Old Navy jeans. And they fit nicely. This was about junior year of high school. So now I actually had about two or three pairs. But I would still wear them out and had to go get new jeans. But I actually liked buying jeans now that I realized Old Navy jeans fit me and really weren't that expensive (especially when you go when they have a blow out sale because they are getting a new line and need to get rid of their old crap. )
Anyway, today I was doing laundry (because I'm moving back to APU this week and I wanted to wash everything before it cost me) and I decided to do an all jean load. And while I was folding them I realized I had close to ten pairs of jeans.
I was shocked. I have never had this many pairs of jeans before. I mean I guess I did just buy three pairs this past Saturday at Old Navy's $12 sale. But still, when did I become the person with more pairs of jeans than there are days in the week? Where did this person come from? Next thing you know, I'll be wearing make up.... okay, yeah, you're right, that's not going to happen anytime soon.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
And then we decide to walk up Mt. Rubidoux.
So that we can watch the sunset.
And drank some milk.
It was a good last weekend before I go back to college and move all my crap in. I'm excited for school to start though. I like learning. I'm just going to miss these random weekends.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Let me explain. Or try to.
I think about every decision I make constantly and those few times that I make a decision sporadically, I regret it, which just makes me take longer to make the next decision that comes across my path. I think about what other people say and their actions. I try and determine what they are really thinking when they tell me a story because really, I think anyway, this person would probably be somewhere else, not talking to me. I analyze the way people talk to me because if its a guy, I'm thinking that maybe he is being a little flirtatious and if this is so, then maybe he likes me. And if I'm talking to a girl, I'm thinking that maybe she would rather be talking to that group of guys over there, and not me.
I am about to start school so I am getting ready by packing and what not but I keep stopping because I don't know what our room is going to need this year and what I should bring from home and if I am really going to wear all those clothes that I want to bring because last year I certainly did not wear all the clothes that I brought and I really do not want to waste space. And speaking of packing space, is everything going to fit? How many trips am I going to take out there anyway.
Even when I am telling someone a story I am thinking too much, which causes me to slip in the dreaded "like" and "um" into my stories. Maybe while I am telling the story I start thinking about the end before I even get to it or I make eye contact with the person who I am telling the story to and get distracted by wondering what the person behind those eyes are thinking, especially when the eyes are gorgeous.
And really, it wouldn't be so bad to over think things if it all turned out good in the end. But thinking too much about a certain guy usually just builds that guy up in my head so much that when I actually talk to him, I am completely baffled by the feelings I have for him. Or it wouldn't be so bad if when I do overanalyze every decision that I end up making the right choice and live somewhat happily, but this rarely happens. Something usually goes wrong in the decision that I make. And this just causes me to think about why it went wrong and what I could have done differently and why I am such an idiot sometimes?
And even right now, as I type this I am thinking about how stupid it is to write all this down. No one really cares how much you overanalyze everything, they probably do it, too.
If that's you, let's just start a club. Overanalyzing Anonymous: For people who think too much.
Maybe you are thinking that its because I am a girl that I think so much about this and that and why this and why that. And you are probably right. If I was a guy, maybe I wouldn't over think everything.
Sometimes I hope for a day where I will just not think and then maybe, just maybe, that guy that I have a crush on will be perfect when I talk to him and every decision that I make that day will turn out great because I did not obsess over it and life that day will be grand
But for now, I will just keep thinking way too much about life.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
None of the stories really have happy endings either. Like there is resolution but its just an honest ending. There are no couples walking off into the sunset or a couple making out when its raining. Because that is not how life ends for us ordinary people.
There is a quote from the book that I like:
"I am not the only man to seek his fortune far from home, and certainly I am not the first. Still there are times that I am bewildered by each mile that I have traveled, each meal I have eaten, each person I have known, each room in which I have slept. As ordinary as it all appears, there are times when it is beyond my imagination"
My life is so ordinary. But that is exactly how I want it. When I think about all the good times in my life, there have been so many. So many random lunches, acquaintances, experiences, that no matter how ordinary it may seem to someone else, it is quite perfect for me.
Well that's enough reading corner for now. I recommend this book.
Friday, August 15, 2008
I have always been called the mom of any group of friends I was in. This is because I am an innate caretaker. I just am always prepared with the most random things whether it be bandaids or scissors. So really this was the perfect setting for me because I got to be the 'mom' to these six girls. One night, some of the girl counselors and I got to do wake-up calls (which is basically going into the cabins super early in the morning and waking everyone up any way we want to while filming it.) Well this particular night we woke up four cabins and one of them ended up being my girls. I kept telling them all week that they probably wouldn't come and wake us up and I ended up being one of the counselors that woke them. It was beautiful. However, they didn't take it lying down. When I got back to the cabin, they ambushed me with pillows. Luckily, I was able to get mine and get off a few good hits of my own, but I conceded and let them win. I'm not going to lie, I really think this was my first pillow fight.
One of the highlights of camp were the other counselors. If I had a picture of all of them I would put it up. But here is a picture of Lynnea, Candyce, Emma, Cor and Me (Perhaps the cooler counselors)
The other counselors were just amazing people and when you yourself are a counselor, you get to know the counselors in such a different way. We bonded over the early leader meetings, the special privileges of doing whatever we wanted at anytime of the night, and of course, at the end of the week lunch at Chipotle. Some of these counselors were friends with my sisters and others were my own counselors and leaders in the youth group and still others were people I just met. But this week, we were all pretty much equal even though Cor, emma and I were the rookie girls.
Between my trip to Louisiana and my week as a counselor and the random weeks in the middle where I slacked and read and obsessed over this upcoming year, this summer has challenged me, molded me, encouraged me, and sometimes made me frustrated. And now as I get ready to go back to APU in two-ish weeks, I really want to find time to process what I learned and how I grew. I hope that i can take what I experienced and apply it to my life. I want to set goals that I will read everyday and work towards in every decision that I make throughout the days ahead.
That is my plan this upcoming week. Maybe if I write them down, I'll share them with you.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Really I took a whole bunch of these sunset pictures but really a picture of a sunset cannot be felt by a person unless they experienced the actual sunset.
This is what I call purple mountains majesty.
And I took Turbo. A relatively new addition to our household that is the best running dog partner ever. He doesn't bark at any of the other dogs in the neighborhood, he stays by my side, and he sits with me on the rock while I watch the sunset.
I really want to name this place but I am kind of afraid that if I get too attached to this place, I will jinx it and developers will come and build houses on the property and forever take away this place from me and the others lucky individuals of the neighborhood who take refuge in this place. Even though most of these individuals are delinquents who choose to express their love for so and so by graffiti-ing (yeah not really a word, I know) it on the rock and leaving their trash to deteriate in the wind. I guess to each their own.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Here are some pictures of Wyatt without his ventilator. I think I am going to like being an aunt. :)
"Success is how high you bounce after you hit rock bottom" Gen. Patton