Today I was faced with a sombering reality of how different my life and childhood has been then from the kids I work with everyday.
I have become almost best friends with Ms. Cassandra at my Boys and Girls club. She works in the front office but she's really not the receptionist or secretary. Often times I find myself hanging out with her during the day between playing with the cadets and checking on my students because she is just a wonderful person to talk to. She's in her late twenties/early thirties and has two kids and she's not married. She says she did her life backwards and she's going back to school now.
Well, today I was sitting in the office and Ms. Carolyn, the program director, and Ms. Cassandra were talking about a shooting in the neighborhood. And then they started talking about Thomas, a summer youth staff worker, and how he didn't come into work.
They then started talking to other people about where he would be. And they called another member into the office to call a friend to see where he was.
I know that if I was working at a camp in Riverside, California, my first thought would be that the worker slept in or he was too lazy to come to work.
But that's not the reality here in Roseland, one of the top three most dangerous neighborhoods. The reality is that he could have been shot. Or who knows where. And knowing Thomas, he probably just did not feel like coming into work today. But that's not the first thought at all.
My heart just breaks for the kids of this neighborhood and I ask myself why am I so lucky? Why was I able to be born with soft hair? Why do I have the means to go to Chicago for the summer to just serve? Why am I so lucky to be able to go to college? How did I come from such an amazing family that loves me?
And I don't want to leave. I want to stay here and not just bring 12 or so white volunteers to this club for one week. I want to live here so that it becomes the norm. I want to be able to reach out to them as a staff person rather then a temporary worker.
Because at the end of this week, I have to say good bye. To Ms. Cassandra. To Ms. Carolyn. To Marcus. To Timothy. To Noelle. To Faith. To Demetrius. To everyone.
Because the reality is I might not see them ever again.
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About Me
- Janey
- My name is Jane. I'm a California girl but I currently reside in Waco, Texas while I get my Masters at Baylor and work as an athletic trainer at a high school in the middle of nowhere. These are my stories.
1 comment:
Alas, the should ov, could ov and would ov, strikes us everyday. Some harder than others. "But by the grace of God, there go I". We're where we are because in the big picture that only God knows and paints Himself, we're to be touched and moved and motivated into action. I sat through a sermon yesterday that rocked my world. I had always associated myself with a character in one of Jesus's parables, and it turned out that character represented the Pharisees! I sat sotically, but crumbled and wept inside; for God, once again, moved me out of my comfort zone. I should be celebrating knowing that God was thinking about little ol' me. But I turned selfishly inward. Today, I have changed yet again. I owe many people apologies for my self-centerness. But, at least I am not the same today. God be praised. And that is why you were born where you were and are there where you are, and you'll be somewhere else tomorrow. As long as we're open to the Spirit and accept where we are, we're moving and not stagnant. How can I give you a cyber hug???
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