Life

Life is so incredibly good right now that I feel like I'm living someone else's life. Like there should not be this many good things happening.

This past week has been so surreal. Like I don't even know how to explain it. Things have just been working out. There hasn't been any big fantastic events. Just little things that have made life so good and so awesome.

I'm excited to see my friends again soon. (Chile, Washington, Long Beach and Riverside unite)

I'm excited to be getting surgery soon. (excited in the non-sadistic way)

I'm excited to be almost done with football practices (even though I will miss the guys)

I'm excited that I'm signing up for classes for next semester soon. (I'm such a nerd, its ridiculous)

I'm excited that I'm actually learning things that I will need to know for the future. (Currently my favorite place is in the ATR)

I'm just excited.

Except I'm not excited for Halloween. I really don't like that holiday.

Law of Diminishing Returns

The other day in my psych class we had two guest speakers with a very refreshing discussion about relationships and sex. It was very interesting and my class was super mature through it all. I guess that's the benefit of being in a college class talking about this?


Anyway, one of the speakers talked about how when you first start dating someone, holding hands is what sends the chill up and down your spine. But then that goes away. And then you start kissing. And then the thrill of just kissing goes away. And then more things come from that. And he mumbled, "Its the law of diminishing returns."


Well that caught my attention so then when I finally was able to spare a second today, I looked it up online and saw that its a real economic term: "in a production system with fixed and variable inputs beyond some point, each additional unit of the variable input yields smaller and smaller increases in outputs, also reducing the mean productivity of each worker." Basically the more you do something, the less you get.


In terms of dating and guys I thought that this was very applicable. Imagine this: you meet a guy. You talk. He smiles. You melt. The next time the smile still makes you melt, but then you also make him laugh. So now your goal is to make him laugh. And so you talk to him more so that you can get a laugh. But now he's making you laugh. And you are only seeing him like twice a week. And then gradually you make it so that you see him more. And circumstances happen that you are able to see him more times in the week. And each time you want to just see him smile or laugh. But pretty soon its not enough. And now you want him to just freaking ask you out. But he's not going to because he doesn't like you. Its the self fulfilling prophecy of the reciprocal liking theory. (The more you are nice to someone, the more that person is nice to you because you are facilitating the 'nice' in the relationship.) And that's it. Its not because he likes you. You are being nice so he is being nice.

And you know how you realize this? Because you are getting fewer and fewer butterflies with each smile that he gives you. And you accept this and move on to another distraction.

Tired

I am working myself to the bone right now. We really are our own worst enemy with the pressure that we put on ourselves to be and do better.

I am definitely less bitter now. I am also now having surgery over Thanksgiving break. So I'm that it is sooner. It's been hurting a lot lately just walking around and being on my feet all day because of football practice.

But things are still good and I have to keep telling myself that they are.

P.S. This story made me want to cry
http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2009/10/a_hostage_to_concussions.html

If the link doesn't work, tell me because its such an interesting story and it is why I want to be an Athletic Trainer so that this doesn't happen and high schoolers are just informed about whatever injury they may get.

Fixed things don't always stay fixed

My acl is torn again.



So is my medial meniscus.



I'm trying really hard to not be bitter about it all.




And you know that window I fixed the other day.
It's not staying fixed.
It falls down.


P.S. Surgery is December 21.

Scrubbing in

Yesterday I got to go into the operating room and watch one of our football players get his should worked on. It was sooo cool.

He had a SLAP lesion and his rotator cuff tendon was frayed like a sea anemone. The doctor was even surprised by how much damage was in there. He said the only thing the athlete had going for him was his youth. (Because younger people have a faster healing curve).

After having had surgery, it was weird to be in the room but not on the table. Like you are out and they just move your body to make it easy to work on. Like its just weird. I don't know if I ever want to have surgery again because I know how incredible out you are. And its a lot of work repairing tendon and labrum through these three tiny holes with only a camera to guide you as you work.

It's crazy how far technology has brought us.

I had to leave like twenty minutes before the surgery was over so I didn't get to talk to the doctor after to ask the million questions but he did talk a little about stuff with me, which was cool.

Update.

Its been a while. My bad.

A lot has been happening. My emotions have been everywhere. Things have changed. Other things have stayed the same. I feel different but I still act and look the same/ I want the future to be here already. But I need to just enjoy the moment. Because pretty soon this will be gone.

First things first. I injured my knee again. I didn't want to post till I knew for sure what was up and what I was going to do but it's been three 1/2 weeks, four different doctors visits, and there are still things I don't know. There is one thing I do know. I hate doctors' offices. Sometimes the nurses are so nice and other times the way they say things just makes me cry. And then the doctors themselves make me feel like I'm inconveniencing them for being hurt. So I do end up crying. And its embarrassing. I had an MRI 11 days ago and I finally have the follow up appointment this Thursday. That is when I will know. But that's what I said the last four times so who really knows anymore?

Next, football is so awesome. I traveled to Wisconsin with them. And this weekend I'm going to Utah. We aren't very good. Well we are good, we just don't stay consistently good throughout the game. Like this past weekend, our guys played so well in the first half and we were winning and then the second half comes and the other team completely shuts us down. And we keep getting more and more injuries of starters. So it sucks but its also been a really good learning experience. Even the head athletic trainer has experienced more then he usually does. There have been some crazy injuries.

On a completely different note, I finally fixed my car window. Well relatively. You see it doesn't roll up all the way. As shown in this picture. That's a good three inches right there.

Instead it makes a hideous rumbling sound that makes you think the car engine is going to blow up. And since I heard that its gong to start raining soon, I knew that I had to be proactive about it. So I took the door relatively off, was able to push the window into the crevice and now when it rains I won't get wet. It wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. Other wise I would have done it a lot sooner.

I hope the rain comes soon now. So that I will see how amazing it is to not get wet.