These past few days when I have been at my house in Azusa, I have had the urge to just clean and organize. I am rarely home during the day and this past week I have been off from clinical. Meaning that instead of going to South Hills from 2 to whenever and then going straight to work or the library I have been at home.
And when you are around a mess for so long, it gets to you. And you can't help but clean and organize and scrub and drain-o that drain that is shared by three ladies with long hair.
I was telling my mom this when I went home for thanksgiving and she offered to let me organize her sewing room. I declined and the conversation went on. We talked about school, homework, roommates, friends, gifts, church and then grad school. I told her I was avoiding hitting submit. And then she said "Oh so that's why you are cleaning."
Bingo. I didn't even realize I was doing it. I mean, don't get me wrong, out house was messy but not as messy as I am probably making it seem. It was just something that I was doing to avoid that stupid admission essay.
But I finally finished it this morning. And we'll see what happens. Maybe nothing. And I don't even have a back up in line. I just want to go to this one school. I probably shouldn't put all my eggs in one basket, but for now that is what I am doing. I am looking at other options. But I'm not as excited at any of those.
Maybe it will just be a year off next year. And I'm just going to have to be ok with that.
Or maybe I'll get it.
Time will tell.
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Jesus knows... and just like He put you on that plane this summer He's going to let you be carried by Him into the most soul satisfying, joy filled, and right moments we call life in this year and the coming year. I have no doubt about this... I mean i have my preferences of where you'll be buuuttt Jesus does know better :)
Jay Bay i believing this for you and really feel it that whatever happens He's going to put you in a place that feels right,t hat settles in your spirit. He's not just going to say oh here are your desires and now i'm going to put you over here where they don't exist. He sees your heart, your faithfulness. Ahhhh man, i can feel it and Jane there's something really right about your submission to Him and He sees that, wants to honor the amazing woman of Jesus you are.
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