Sticks and stones.

So on my desktop I get these quotes that pop up every thirty or sixty seconds. I love them. Sometimes they are quotes from "Management Manual" and say something like "Never do anything stupid on purpose." And other times there are quotes from Einstein or Voltaire or Oscar Wilde. It can be pretty random.

One time there was a quote from My So-Called Life (Yes, random) and it said something like "sometimes someone says something that fits right into the whole in your heart." I feel like this is a cheesier version of what it said. But I completely agree with this. My friend Rel always seems to text me when I need it the most. And its always something simple, like I'm praying for you Jane. Or I love you Janeyy. This is her. She's one of the most ridiculous human being I know, but I wouldn't want her any other way.

And really I wasn't even having a bad day. I was just annoyed. Here's why:

I spend most of my days with these three people. Mike, Ash and Brad. They are the other Athletic Trainers in my class. There are only four of us in our AT classes but we also have other classes together with the AES (applied exercise science) majors. And I work baseball with Brad. And Ash is basically who I spend all my free nights with because we are basically the same. So I see these kids A LOT. And I love them. They are my brothers and sister and they make me laugh. But sometimes I just want to punch them in the face.

Anyway, I was just annoyed with them and I get this text from Rel. And it just calmed my heart. Like it didn't matter that these guys didn't get it. Someone out there was thinking of me. And that's all I needed to make my life better at that moment.

So during my break between classes I randomly called my mom at her work. (She's a librarian at an elementary). But she had a class in the Library and couldn't talk long. So I just said, I love you. And she told me that that is exactly what she needed to hear at that moment. How crazy is it that we have this power with our words to say the right thing to people?

But then with a single word we can also completely tear someone down. And probably not even realize it. Like the sarcastic jokes that we make with our good friends. Sometimes we can take it too far but they aren't going to tell us and eventually they will get over it.

Or then what about lack of words. The silent treatment. That can actually say a lot too and completely mess with a person. For example, the Athletic Trainer that I work with was giving me and this other girl, Lyndsay, the silent treatment during practice one time. We were freaking out and trying to think of what we even did wrong, like what we said. And it made for such an awkward tear down and post treatment of the athletes that we finally asked him at the end what we did. And really, he was just playing a joke on us. You could say we were pretty pissed and hurt that he thought it would be funny to do this. It was also super un-professional. But that lack of words made us completely ill at ease and we were unable to focus or do anything really during that 'silent treatment.'

And how do you tell someone who you aren't talking to what exactly is wrong? You want them to just realize what they need to do without having to say anything to them. Wouldn't that be fantastic? But then it defeats the purpose of communication in general. We can't take away the bad things of talking without affecting the good things that talking accomplishes.

It reminds me of the childhood saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." That is false.

Chicaaaago.

This summer I am going to Chicago. I applied for a job with CSM way back over Thanksgiving. And I finally heard from them that I got the job. It has been torture these past few weeks because I just wanted to know what I would be doing this summer. Would I have a job or would I still be in Riverside?

But now I know.

I get to see this city landscape, which my physical therapist says is one of the best city views.

Maybe I'll be able to catch a baseball game here.

And I'll get to see this bean, which I really have no idea what it is for. But its very artsy?

Anyway, I'm just so excited. I should get a Chicago sweatshirt. And just start learning more about it.

Training starts May 24th. Time to start looking at plane tickets.

Happy Birthday NIKOL!

This is my friend Nikol. We've been friends since third grade. Through elementary, middle and high school, we have somehow stayed friends. Now she's off at Cal Poly SLO where she is becoming even more fantastic. Today is her birthday. And since I know she reads this I wanted to say happy birthday. Happy Birthday Beautiful! I love her, oh, so much.

This picture is from going to a pirate show in Buena Park (like Medieval Times but pirate themes) a few years ago. Oh high school...

Life is hard

Sometimes it really annoys me when people complain about their busy days of thirteen hours. I want to tell them welcome to my life; now just add a few more hours. But I realize that life is hard for everyone. Who am I to say that my life is way busier and more stressful than so and so's life?

And yeah its hard at times, but its still fun. All the craziness of going from 6:30 in the morning to whatever time I make it back to my apartment at night just makes my life what it is. I love the activity and business. I crave that in my life but at the same time I am so content in staying in on Friday and Saturday night.

I love the people I see everyday, who go through the same things I go through. I love the people I randomly see when I take a different route to my class. Or when I'm running late (which really doesn't happen because I hate being late) and someone helps me out. I love that the most.

I love the random awesome things that can occur during the day. The unexpected four leaf clover. Running in to the guy that you are crushing on and having a good talk. Getting out of a class early.

So yeah, we complain about our lives and going to this appointment and then going to class and then going to clinical or going to a recital or going to a seminar, but really if we complain about it, then aren't we obligated to fix it? If you hurt your back, you're not just going to complain about it till it goes away. You're going to take some meds, stretch it out, heat it up, take a nap, fix your posture, etc. That should really be the same for our lives. If we complain about a class or the business then maybe we should change something. Change our attitudes. Change who we sit by. Change our daily routine. Find time for walks in the morning.

But life is hard. For everyone. Just not always in the same way.

Valentine's Day

These are the girls I spent Valentine's Day with. From left to right: Ashley, Meghan and Jenny.

We went to church (where they talked about marriage of course.) And came back to get some business done. For the most part we really did homework (while watching friends) or took online tests (Ashley and I) and studied for physiology (Jenny) and wrote papers (Meghan). And then I had to work some of the time. And then Jenny and I walked to Staters' to get oven-bake pizzas and chocolate. And on our way back we picked flowers for the other two and wrote a poem:

Here we are
On this day
No man in sight
But that's okay
Cause food is good
And God is great
So let's make this pizza
And celebrate.

(Technically its not allowed to pick flowers on campus. Just don't tell anyone.)

We ate pizza. Baked funfetti cookies. And now we're watching Remember the Titans.
All in all, it was a pretty decent day.

Adult time

I sometimes get into the mindset that I am getting to the age of being an experienced adult. I mean, I am not living at home everyday, under the supervision of my loving, thoughtful parents, I have to keep making tough decisions, such as what I'm going to eat for dinner and if I should go to this party or not, and I'm in college where you really just have so many experiences, right?

But then I was talking to someone the other day and she made me feel really young. Let's see if I can recall her exact words: "Oh you're 20? You're just a baaaby."

Perfect.

And really I know that I'm not the experienced adult that I imagine myself to be. I don't have everything together. What is an adult anyway? Someone with two kids? Married? Career? Living alone? Watches the news instead of The Office? How can I reach that stage but not regret anything I do?

The other day, one of the most random memories from elementary school popped into my head. This one time, my friend asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. And I know this sounds weird, but I said I wanted to be a secretary. This was because I liked organizing things and helping people out with the things they needed to get done. So my friend looked at me and said "You have too much potential to be that." Mind you this was sixth grade, but I took that as a great compliment from my friend. (Also you knew that we were GATE students if we were able to use potential and know what it means. Yeah, I was a precocious child.)

I don't really want to settle in life. I want to experience so much. So now I'm just going to take what that other girl said as a compliment, too. I am just a baby but that means that I have a lot of time to do whatever I want.

Beginnings.

It is the new semester. Beginnings make me excited. And there is just much to be excited about for this semester.

1. Athletic Training: Last semester was a huge growing semester in that I learned a lot about athletic training stuff, like performing evaluations and becoming better acquainted with appropriate anatomical reference points. So this semester is when I actually feel like I know more about what I am doing. There are also new people in the program so I'm no longer one of the younger people in the program. It's weird being the person to teach these new students how to tape and how to turn on the different modalities.

2. Baseball: Yeah, so the days are already super long since I'm there from one to about five and this is just on practice days. Most of the guys are nice. There are some that I'm already wary about. And you just gotta love dug out talk when they think you can't hear them (meaning that it can be quite inappropriate at times). But now I'll know more about the sport of baseball in general and learn the proper biomechanics and what not.

3. Knee rehab: Ok, so I'm not excited about this at all and I'm already slacking and being resentful of that day in April three and half years ago when I first tore this sucker. I can't wait to run and play soccer again (and throw a football). I'm pretty sure I will not take that for granted. At least for the first few months anyway.

4. Summer: So it is only January, but I'm already looking forward to what this summer may bring. I applied for this summer internship position with CSM. In Chicago. But I don't find out about it till March 15 when they make their summer staff decisions. It is going to be a long two months. And of course I'm freaking out about if I will get it or not. We'll just have to wait and be patient with this.

5. My classes: So all of my classes are for my major. Except art but I love creating stuff like that so it doesn't even feel like a class to me (except my teacher is craazy). Since all my classes are actually things that interest me, it is kind of a bit easier to pay attention, even when one of the classes is three hours long, twice a week, in the morning.

6. Friends: I actually feel like I have friends here at school. And that they actually like me for all my nuances and quirks.


So I just hope that I can maintain the excitement of these beginnings when they are no longer correctly termed beginnings.